“He Wasn’t Man Enough For Me” Part 2

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Firstly, I would like to thank everyone for all of your love, support and encouraging words after reading Part 1 of “He Wasn’t Man Enough For Me”.  In Part 2, I want to take you back to one of the worst days of my life. I thought this would be the best way to close out this topic. It truly speaks on how something so traumatizing made me the man I am today.

I hated being around men.

I often found myself wondering if men were giving me strange looks, or if they could tell I was uncomfortable in their presence. This all stemmed from my middle school days. I’ll never forget the day my “homeboy” outed me in front of the class.

On a typical class day, another student and I were exchanging words, and if you know me, then you know I won the cracking session or at least, that’s what I thought.

I thought the session was over, but then the other student pulled a piece of paper from his notebook and started scribbling something.  I couldn’t see what, but my classmates started laughing as the paper was passed around.  My homeboy was the last one to receive the paper. After glancing up at me, he grabbed his things and moved away from where we were sitting, then he grab a pencil and wrote his response. He then passed it on to the next student, who in turn handed it to me.

Written at the top of the paper boldly was, “Is Greg Gay”?  Underneath, there was a crudely drawn yes or no column, which everyone checked yes to.  What hurt most was, my supposed friend even checked yes.

I wanted to scream. Instead, I went to the restroom and cried for about 20 minutes. I couldn’t understand or process why someone I called a friend would turn against me like it was nothing.

Imagine growing up and everyone around you thinking you’re something that you’re not. It hurts and no, it’s not fair.  They constantly express their opinions in the worst way by calling you a faggot, gay boy, or even a sissy.

It was so bad, that the boys in high school would change seats so they wouldn’t be near me.  Even the musicians in church wouldn’t speak to me unless my brother told them, “He’s not gay, he just acts like this”.  Not ever being accepted as a man, not only crushed me, but it broke my heart.

Over and over again, this question would enter my mind.  “What am I, if I’m not a real man”?

Maybe a girl… At the time, that was the only option I could come up with.  I thought, if I couldn’t go and do the “manly thing”, then I must not be a man. The devil tried his hardest to make me believe this, but I didn’t break or fall prey to him. I was determined to change the perception of what a man is or supposed to be. It hurt so bad growing up and being misunderstood for being who God created me to be.

I questioned God many times, crying out to Him, asking, “Why did you make me like this?  Why don’t people of my gender accept me for who I am? WHY AM I NOT MAN ENOUGH FOR THESE MEN?”

All I ever wanted was to be accepted by my male cousins, uncles, brother and father! I knew I had to change my way of thinking. I had to force myself to forget what others thought of me.  That is when I decided that I was all the man God made me to be, and I learned how to accept me, Gregory.

Rule number one to overcoming judgement from others: Stop hiding yourself!

Once I became comfortable with who I was, other people’s opinions didn’t affect me as much. Don’t get it twisted, it’s still upsetting or bothersome when someone thinks I’m gay, but I don’t allow it to get the best of me.

Sharing this has been an emotional ride, but well worth it. I’m willing to be open about my life experiences, even if it only helps one person. My hope is that this blog will reach many, especially if there’s a little boy or girl who is experiencing being misunderstood because of the way they talk, walk, or even dress.  Remember, you are everything God has created you to be. Be Great!

Signed- #AGrowingKing

32 thoughts on ““He Wasn’t Man Enough For Me” Part 2

    1. Son im so proud of you for finding out whio you are. I accepted you for who you was. You hang with girl and girlfriends to seek how to treat a women. You study us as women. You have a special bond with your mother. You have a gift son. Dont never let people dictate who you are. You are going to be an amazing husband to some special women. Keep buikding relationship every body loves Greg. Its ok to be different it does not mean its wrong, talk different, walk different, shaped different. Its your inner beauty that makes a person as beautiful as you are. Im waiting on that special conference for women by G Ford. STAY IN TUNED. I love you with all my heart. Be Blessed Son.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. GREGGGG!

    Thank you for sharing your heart! I admire your strength! You’re not only the man God called you to be but you’re also the man He WANTS you to be! You’re amazing and my prayer for you and your blog is that 1. God’s will will be done. And 2. Someone’s soul is freed from the hurt society has caused them!

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  2. From the first day I of dance practice you have been Greg to me. In this life I learned that God did not make a mistake with the design of ME..he sat down and said this one Shall have a loud voice.after all these years.I’m finally okay with that..”Greg your Greg with the voice that gives me chills..just Greg”💋

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  3. People will always judge. However, one does not have to accept, or even acknowledge any judgment that another person tries to lay on us.. Romans 8:28. Those people were building you up, without knowing that they were. God’s got your back.

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  4. I’m glad you have learned to accept yourself for who you are. I not going to say I understand where you are coming from but I do understand not living your life for you. I learned a long time ago that you can’t please everyone and you have to live your life by what makes you happy. So be who your are regardless because the devil will always have something to say! Thanks for this great piece!

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  5. Keep stomping on the devil by sharing your heart with others. Be who you are, no matter what others may say or feel about ya… Nobody said the road would be easy, therefore He didn’t bring you this far to leave you…. Keep doing you Gregory, I love ya 😘

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  6. Wow! All I can say is amazing. 😩😩 Thank you for sharing. This is just beautiful and so transparent 👏🏾👏🏾. I can not wait for more!

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  7. Another amazing read Greg. I love that you’re sharing this with the world. This is will not only help you but also help others “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.”
    ‭‭Revelation‬ ‭12:11‬. This is your testimony. Keep allowing the Lord to use you.

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  8. Wheeeeeeew, Greg! This is everything. Your transparency is soul moving and the delivery was anointed by God. I’m so proud of your growth and I’m excited about the place that you’re in. THIS IS FREEDOM! Thank you for your bravery.

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  9. As I stated before I can’t wait for the next entry! You unveiling yourself and being vulnerable to this extent is inspiring. I’m so happy and proud you’re accepting Greg for who Greg is; despite others misconception(s). You’re a dope invldividual and I love you for you always. Loving and accepting yourself genuinely is one for the best things you can do for yourself. Kudos my brother; I love you and I’m so proud!

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  10. As I stated before I can’t wait for the next entry! You unveiling yourself and being vulnerable to this extent is inspiring. I’m so happy and proud you’re accepting Greg for who Greg is; despite others misconception(s). Loving and accepting yourself genuinely is one for the best things you can do for yourself. Kudos my brother; I love you and I’m so proud! #wellspoken

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  11. The lidless mind wins again !!! So proud of you my friend ❤️✊🏾 THIS is how you transform pain into power ! … The delivery is everything G!

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  12. Such bravery and transparency!! So proud of the man you are becoming .. the strength it takes to open yourself up to the world without fear of judgement or opinions is honorable and inspiring. You are amazing and through your testimony lives will be changed ! Thank you for this !!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Bro man I have so much more respect for you, Thanks for revealing things so personal to the world because a lot of people are dealing with the same thing! This has taught me a lot!

    Thanks for opening up and being obedient! ✊🏾

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  14. To be so transparent about something so personal, I respect and love you even more!!! Greg, THANK YOU for this!!! This was absolutely touching and heartfelt. A GIFT!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

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  15. I’m tired of just getting alil snip clip of your stories lol but I love every bit of it. Though won’t believe I struggled in knowing who am I am this helps to know I’m not the only one feeling misunderstood. Gregggg keep writing cause someone somewhere needs to hear n know they are not alone. Always #1fan for lifeeeeeee shairi

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  16. When I first met you which was the rehearsal for my son Charles Jr. and Fonda’s wedding, my first thought of you was what a amazing young man and awesome vocalist. I didn’t see a gay man, all I saw was a young man who had such a beautiful personality and such an amazing smile. I admit I don’t know the things you have gone through but I do know that it hurts to be judged by folks especially your own family who you thought would love you unconditionally. I admire you for having the courage to voice your feelings to the world in your blog. Again I say this will help others out there who are struggling with issues that are weighing on their hearts and minds everyday. Thank you for sharing Greg.

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  17. When you said “Rule number one to overcoming judgement from others: Stop hiding yourself!” i felt that !!
    You may not be aware yet but this is going to reach people beyond the Gay/Male topic Greg ..
    Thank you for sharing you pain, as it may be used for someone else’s break through!!
    #AGrowingQueen
    -W

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  18. I love your bravery, I too understand this because you remind me a lot of my brother and growing up this is a common question that was asked and sometimes I still get the question. My father didn’t raise him and thank God he didn’t because he would have judged and tried to make my brother something he wasn’t. He is a handsome well kept young man who loves his girlfriend and is an example of how men should treat women today. Side note the first time I heard you sing it made my skin bubble and butterflies began to creep in my stomach. I loved your jokes you told that night and I feel like I fell in love with the type of man you are so for sure don’t change for anyone. God has a plan for you young man and the lady that will benefit from Gods design will be a lucky woman.

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